Behavioral management and parenting

B P
Sep 17, 2023
2 min read

Updated: Oct 9, 2023

When it comes to raising children, many parents aim to reinforce what they view as ‘good’ behaviors while striving to discourage ‘bad’ behaviors. The action of reward and punishment stems from behaviorist principles that state that behaviors are shaped through interactions with our environment and are acquired through conditioning (Skinner, 1975).

How then are parents actively practicing behaviorist principles without knowledge that they are doing so?

Well, to start with, when parents praise their children when they see ‘good’ behavior, the child’s biological response is to feel proud in return. This causes the child to repeat the praised behavior due to the feeling it provides. This is a perfect display of classical conditioning where the child associates praise with good behavior (conditioned stimulus) and the proud feeling (conditioned response) (McLeod, 2023). It’s also important to note that ‘good’ vs. ‘bad’ is up to individual perception and we must approach socially accepted standards with caution.

Furthermore, parents positively and negatively reinforce behaviors through forms of rewards and punishments. For example, if I were to give my toddler candy after going to the potty on her own, this positively reinforce the act of going to the potty to receive the reward. Contrary, if I were to withhold candy when my toddler refuses to go to the bathroom during potty time, this would likely make her decrease the resistant behavior. As a reinforcer, operant conditioning has the power to increase behavior at a greater intensity or work to eliminate behavior altogether (Cherry, 2023).

As parents we must analyze our parenting styles to determine not only the strengths but the limitations of the behavioral practices we follow. For example, although operant conditioning promotes behavior due to positive reinforcement, there is no guarantee that a child who is expecting a reward will continue the desired behavior in the absence of the reward.

How then can we sustain behavior without an expected exchange?

Additionally, we must question how negative reinforcement can affect children's emotions and not look simply at what they are or are not doing.

Are we enhancing our children’s well-being by conditioning them to follow behaviors that WE find acceptable?

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